We need to stop
telling kids to focus

We need to stop telling kids to focus when we haven’t taught them how.

“Focus.”

“Pay attention.”

“Concentrate.”

“Sit still.”

We say these things to kids all the time. I know I did as a parent and as a teacher.

But here’s the question I’ve been thinking about:

Have we ever actually taught them how to focus?

Imagine handing a child a bike and saying, “Just balance.”

Or putting them in a pool and saying, “Just swim.”

We wouldn’t expect them to know how. We would teach them.

Yet when it comes to focus, we often treat it like something a child should just know how to do.

And when they can’t?

We tell them again.

“Focus.”

“Pay attention.”

“You’re not listening.”

“Try harder.”

For some kids, that works. They seem to naturally know how to bring their attention where it needs to be.

But for many of the kids I work with, it doesn’t.

And it’s not because they don’t want to focus.

They haven’t been taught how.

This is one of the things I love about the work we do at Minnesota Learning Solutions.

We don’t just tell kids to focus. We teach them how.

We give them a simple, practical tool so they can recognize what being focused feels like and know how to get themselves there.

And this is where we often see change happen quickly.

A child who is constantly being reminded to pay attention begins to recognize for themselves when they’re not focused.

A child who struggles to sit still has a tool to help their body and mind work together.

A child who has heard “focus” over and over suddenly has something they can actually do.

And suddenly, instead of hearing what they’re doing wrong, they have something they can actually do to help themselves.

Instead of relying on an adult to continually redirect them, they have a tool they can begin using for themselves.

And that can carry over into reading, learning, following directions, sports, everyday tasks, and so much more.

Sometimes we assume a child needs more practice, more reminders, more consequences, or more motivation.

But what if they simply need to be taught how?

Because once they understand how to do something they’ve been struggling with for years, you can almost see the relief.

“Oh. I can do this.”

And that’s the part I love.

If you have a child who is constantly being told to focus, pay attention, slow down, or try harder, maybe it’s time to look at focus a little differently.

Focus is a skill. And skills can be taught.

It doesn’t have to be this hard.

If this has you thinking about your own child a little differently, I’d love to hear your story. You can simply reply to this email or reach out to learn more about how we approach focus and learning at Minnesota Learning Solutions.